One of my good friends, and marriage & family law attorney, Keith Grossman, just published this article below — and I completely agree.

It was 2002 when my first daughter was born, and I continually work to assure I’m “in the moment” and plugged in when my girls talk to me. I really believe we have an amazing relationship!  (If you want to read a really interesting story about my girls & I, visit my Parenting Plan web site).

Here’s Keith’s article – be sure to learn more by reading his related blog entry as well (Thanks Keith!)

What did your child say?

What do your children’s words say or mean to you?

Are you taking the time to truly listen?

Most of us want strong communication and open relationships with our children. However, we never learned effective listening skills, and they do not come naturally. Becoming an effective listener takes hard work and practice.
If nothing else, adults should remember Mark Twain’s words: “If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.”

Improving your relationships is the underlying benefit of any conversation with your children. However, failure to actively listen can damage your relationships rather than improve them. Dr. David Kelley, a licensed family therapist, says, “Children feel valuable when adults pay attention to them.” “It gives children pride in themselves to know that they are able to communicate and make themselves understood. It also helps them to feel they are important to that adult and that they have something to say that is interesting to the adult,” adds Ann Sell, a licensed mental health counselor who works with families.

An important part of your relationship depends upon how comfortable your children feel expressing their ideas and emotions. If you do not encourage interaction with your children, you stifle their desire to speak freely. As a result, you lose out on the intimacy of sharing. Sell says, “Good listening skills will lead to a good relationship. Spending time with the child in active communication is probably the only way a relationship will grow. Good communication produces mutual respect.” Listening to children shows that we care enough to take the time for that child.

- Keith Grossman, Esquire

Thanks again Keith!